I’d like to say a few words about parenting, but before we get started, can you please tell me what pronouns you prefer and how you identify?
As for me, I identify as many things: a man, a husband and a father. And I go by the only pronouns appropriate for those identities. Sometimes I hear people identify folks like my wife and I as “breeders.” As if passing on your DNA, continuing your family line and raising the future generation is such a terrible thing. Inevitably, this term used by people who themselves don’t have kids, making it a laughably ignorant aspersion indeed.
Often, we see stories in the media about what a burden or how expensive it is to raise children, and hear from people who brag about living extravagant and uninhibited lifestyles made possible only because of the financial freedom being childless affords. In an uber-narcissistic world where fame, wealth and material possessions have become the ultimate goal of human activity, this is entirely understandable. Not acceptable or commendable, but understandable.
It’s strange how the more educated and intelligent a person is, the less likely they are to have children, despite the fact that these people tend to make more money and therefore can afford to provide their children with all the resources they will need in life. Yet the poorer people are, the more kids they tend to have. Ironically, the rich, smart people are too dumb to replace themselves, while many poor people are smart enough to realize that they can have all the kids they want and the government will pay for them using tax revenues collected from those selfsame rich, smart people. The 2006 comedy Idiocracy seems more prophetic every day.
Of course, lost in this conversation is the fact that money is really the least of your concerns when you become a parent. Coming up with enough money is a piece of cake compared to the truly challenging aspects of raising children. No amount of money can substitute for a parent’s loving engagement. No amount of money will buy the endless reserve of patience and diligence demanded of parents. And no amount of money can compare to the sense of pride and satisfaction a parent feels when all their hard work finally pays off. Assuming it ever does.
Some of these anti-breeders seem to be unaware that children represent more than merely a bottomless money pit. The money, and more importantly, the time and effort parents invest in their children, pay dividends far more substantial and valuable than luxury cars, big houses, fat bank accounts or annual trips to Hawaii. And no, pets are not a suitable replacement for children. Anyone who doesn’t understand the difference should be sterilized.
The truth is raising kids is much, much harder than any of those snarky anti-breeders imagine. Or maybe they do have an idea of how hard it is and that’s why they act as if they are above it. To be sure, not everyone is cut out to be a parent, and many of us are actually too dysfunctional ourselves to properly raise children at all. Fortunately, humans adapt, grow and learn, so even someone like me has a chance of actually not screwing up his kids. Too much.
What the childless will never understand is that having children changes your life in ways you cannot even begin to imagine, and for many people, it is the greatest experience in their lives. There is nothing in the world that provides the sense of fulfillment and purpose parents feel. The love you feel when you look into your child’s eyes is unlike anything else you will ever experience. And your kid is the only person who will throw up on you and you won’t even mind all that much.
But where did this animosity toward the idea of having kids come from in the first place?
We need to realize that this is not a natural development leading toward a logical conclusion. We have been socially engineered to think this way. We are force fed sexual degeneracy, toxic feminism, the promotion of homosexuality, the abomination of transgenderism and the ubiquitous demonization of “cisgender” heterosexual men (a.k.a. the “patriarchy”) in classrooms, the corporate media and throughout popular culture.
Anti-family propaganda vilifying fathers and encouraging single mothers has become the norm. We have been cut off from our past and lied to about who we are where we come from. None of us would even be here without countless generations of men and women—parents—who were devoted to one another and committed to raising children that would perpetuate the values, culture and traditions ingrained in each and every one us. To do otherwise would have been suicide. That we are being coerced into doing otherwise is genocide.
The challenge of raising children has been exacerbated by poisonous “progressive” modernity, endless distractions and a myriad of traps that make it difficult for us to parent effectively and easy for children to be led astray. The internet is a cesspool full of porn, sexual predators and other vile degeneracy. Even if your kid is able to steer clear of all that, “social” media can lead to isolation, low self-esteem, cyber bullying and even suicide. Thanks (((Zuckerberg)))!
Once a smartphone or video game gets its hooks into your kid, good luck trying get them to listen to anything you say—or even bother looking up. Many kids put more stock in what YouTubers have to say than their own parents. None of these digital technologies were around when I was a kid, nor even when I was in college, so my kids are the lab rats (which parasitic marketing scum cynically refer to as “digital natives”). We will only find out later how destructive this shit actually is, probably when it is already too late to reverse the disastrous effects on their tender developing brains. At least that’s what I’m planning to blame all my bad parenting on.
I know some people who are dissatisfied with their lives. They hate their job. They feel restless and unfulfilled. If they could do it all over again, they would do things differently. Yes, I resemble this statement. However, unlike me, these people are adamant about putting their children through the same institutionalized conditioning and mind control processes they underwent because, ironically, they “want them to have all the opportunities I had.” You mean all those opportunities that led to your present unhappiness? This begs the question: When we talk about providing our children with a better life than we had growing up, why is money the only metric used?
I went to private schools most of my life, I earned degrees in college and at graduate school. But most of what I have learned in life that has been truly useful thus far came from suffering the consequences of bad decisions, making mistakes and being forced to deal with and overcome adverse situations. The rest I figured out on my own, thanks to a healthy intellectual curiosity and a voracious appetite for reading. Above all, I have a love of learning. A sense of humor doesn’t hurt, either. Especially when the kid pukes on you. But I digress.
I think it is important to share my experiences, insights and values with my children, as they can be inspirational and edifying or even serve as a cautionary tale. My hope is that someday, perhaps after I have shuffled off this mortal coil, something I said or a story I told will be recalled at the right time and place. Then a smile will come across their face as they think to themselves “so THAT is what my crazy old man was constantly ranting about!” At some point, it might even dawn on them that my words came from a place of deep love and genuine concern for their well-being and happiness. This is something money cannot buy.
The challenge of raising kids in today’s anti-intellectual climate is how we instill intellectual curiosity, skepticism and most importantly, provide our children with the tools necessary to think critically and continuously learn and grow throughout their lives amid an almost overwhelming sea of bullshit that constantly threatens to swamp our boats and drag us down to the murky depths.
And that is the hardest part of being a parent, because you have to figure that one out on your own.
Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward. —Vernon Law